#NOSHOP19: Recap, Part I
I can’t believe we’re here. It’s mid-November! I knew the year would fly by like any other but I had no idea how much of a transformational experience this would be. I was pretty transparent in my reasoning for taking on #noshop19 in the first place but regardless, I never considered the idea that I might permanently, irrevocably change how I look at shopping. I knew I had a problem with over-consumption (somehow tempered by my other extreme habit, chronic purging) and I knew I’d be in an eternal state of STRESSED if I didn’t change something, but I’m not sure I really thought it was possible. I was a shopaholic. I chased every deal, needed every THING, meandered around the mall for entertainment, amassed a wardrobe full of clothing I didn’t love and definitely didn’t appreciate.
A lot people ask me if I’ve been successful this year and halfway through the year I’d say “sort of!” Not because I’d broken any of my own rules, per say, but I think at that point that my “goal” was still unclear. It wasn’t until this fall when I realized I hadn’t stepped foot in a mall in months, had a huge breakthrough with C in terms of how we communicate about money, and realized I didn’t have any desire to shop that I came to terms with the fact that I’d blown past my physical goal of buying less. Instead, I was in the midst of a deep mental transformation regarding how I look at myself and what brings me happiness.
It’s been hard for me to figure out how to write about #noshop19 as the majority of change has been in mind. Therefore I thought I’d answer a bunch of your questions, below, as well as my final inventory numbers.
Have you broken any rules?
Yes. I have not been perfect. I realized that my all-or-nothing tendencies are a big part of what has gotten me into trouble in the past, however, and decided to give myself grace and go with the flow. I’m having a hard time putting my finger on exactly how I’ve broken my rules – it’s not like I didn’t get rid of something if I bought something; etc, it’s more that as the project evolved and I started to seriously fine tune my wardrobe, I didn’t hold off on investing in a few things to fill gaps (a pair of ivory jeans, a pair of pleather leggings). At this point I’ve gotten rid of so much that I will literally never even come close to replacing it all, and I don’t intend to, so technically I never surpassed my one-for-one allotment. It more feels like I “cheated” because I did intentionally seek out a few pieces vs. replacing something that wore out. Other than that I stayed the course. The behind-the-scenes of this project included a lot of donated blogger mailings, declined partnerships, etc. that I never talked about because I didn’t see the point. The deeper I got into this project the more personal it became – once I realized the only person I was trying to prove something to was myself, the less I felt the need to tell everyone what I was doing if that makes sense?
What has surprised you the most?
One of the things that my friend (and talented stylist) Stephanie said to me while helping me curate my final closet was that she felt like my style had changed a lot over the year; that it seemed like I’d finally discovered my personal style. This is definitely true and was a huge surprise to me as I kicked off this project feeling pretty confident in my style. Looking back at myself I definitely wasn’t, but because I had so many options in my closet I felt like it must be my style! 11 months into it I can tell you that the 31 items hanging in my closet at my style. Muted tones, quality fabrics, volume in the arms, polished tops that worked overtime both casually and in the office – this is my style. 56 button downs that all look pretty much the same are not my style. No wonder getting dressed was frustrating! Now that my closet is a selection of a very few items that check all of my boxes, getting dressed is painless. One shirt, one bottom, one coat. Most of the above in my closet all work together – there is no friction and it all makes me feel good. Realizing that you can like things without a desire to own them was a huge eye-opener for me. I “liked” all of my button downs but did I need them ALL to curate a wardrobe that I loved? No. I realized this about shopping too. I can happily browse a website now and like a LOT of things, without the urge to own them all.
I am also very surprised that I have somehow fully evolved from a navy blue-lover to mostly wearing black! It simply goes further for me especially in creating business casual looks that also work for my personal life.
Would #noshop19 have been harder if you weren’t a blogger?
No! I actually think it would have been easier. Not only would I have avoided soooo many opinions, people waiting to “catch” me failing, etc, but I would have also eliminated so much exposure to the constant stream of new clothing in my Instagram feed. Once summer hit I started to really feel some of my wardrobe gaps (at this point I don’t have a single pair of shorts that aren’t ripped, for example) and it was hard to avoid the ShopBop sale, etc.
On the other hand, it gave me a new perspective on the insane consumption that social media encourages. It’s absolutely insane to think that it’s normal to buy something new every day but I was mindlessly shopping multiple times a week.
Inventory: How much did you decrease your wardrobe? Do you have a recommendation for how many of each thing you need?
Saved the best for (second-to) last 😊 I’ve compiled a chart of my pre-project inventory and where I am now.
Shirts + Blouses: 62 before, 22 after
Pants + Jeans: 15 before, 9 after
Shorts: 6 before, 3 after
Dresses: 27 before, 7 after
Tees, workout, basics + pj’s: 30 before, 16 after
Sweaters + Sweatshirts: 28 before, 9 after
Jackets: 9 before, 6 after
Shoes: 28 pairs before, 14 pairs after
Blazers + vests: 17 before, 3 after
Handbags, work bags + wallets: 9 before, 7 after
Swimwear + coverups: 9 before, 3 after
Non-heirloom jewelry: 28 pieces before, 5 after
Sunglasses: 6 pairs before, 1 pair after
TOTAL: 273 vs. 105
I used to store things in three different closet spaces, now it’s down to one. I utilized three dressers, now I barely fill one. I own 105 pieces total. I used to have 41 pairs of just shoes! I used to have 22 button-down shirts, now I have 5. I don’t have an EXACT recommendation as everyone’s lifestyle is different, but I’m pulling together a PDF of my general guide. Submit your email below and I will email everyone when it’s complete.
Do you do a lot more laundry now that your wardrobe is smaller?
This was hands down the most frequently-asked question! The answer is no, not at all! Think about it this way: no matter how much you own, you wear basically the same number of items per week. Therefore, I do the same amount of laundry in terms of volume! I did laundry once a week before, and I do it once a week now. I probably wash certain items more often but it hasn’t been noticeable. I also don’t wash things like jeans + dry clean only shirts very often. It’s actually shocking to realize how little you actually wear – even with 31 pieces hanging in my closet, I’ve only worn about six different shirts over the last week.
I would like to know how No Shop has impacted your relationships and stress levels. We’re currently reading about practical minimalism and a big thing they keep pointing out is that minimizing leads to healthier relationships and lower stress levels as your focus isn’t on the “stuff” and maintaining the “stuff”. However, I get stressed and cranky even thinking about getting rid of things!
This is 100% true. I have found that having less “stuff” has made me exponentially less stressed. Not only am I spending almost zero time on returns, etc. but my home feels so calm. Living minimally eliminates so much unneccessary choice...re: what you’re wearing, what cup you’re drinking out of, what earrings to put on as you run out the door. It’s all decided already and that gives your mind so much rest.
That said, it takes times to get there and the constant purging, editing, organizing, over and over is it’s own kind of stress. The process is worth sticking out but I wouldn’t expect it to be as “zen” as you might think. I also share a few more specifics about going through this without your spouse’s commitment a bit later in this post.
Are there any brands you’ve gravitated toward? I’ll often try to invest in something I love and then am super disappointed when it doesn’t last more than a season.
Yes, definitely. Without intention, I’ve landed with items from a pretty consistent set of brands. Sea New York, Doen, Ulla Johnson and Rebecca Taylor for blouses, FRAME for denim, Grayson or Frank & Eileen for button downs… I haven’t had great luck with footwear which is why you always hear me promoting my Chloe and Chanel flats + my Golden Goose sneakers. Those are the three pairs that have lasted me best. I will do a post on Friday rounding up essentially similar finds to what’s currently making up my wardrobe; I’d say that’s a good place to start!
I’d love to know how you’ve applied these concepts to shopping for your daughter.
I’ve accidently applied essentially the same concept to her. I find that the way I end up with too much stuff for her is when I buy things impulsively or individually (a cute sweater I saw on an instagram ad, for example) because those are the items that tend to not integrate easily with the rest of her wardrobe or they are supplemental to her pre-existing wardrobe and she simply doesn’t wear it. Instead I’ve been doing a single refresh for each season as she grows out of things. You may have noticed that I’ve been posting a seasonal shopping blog post for her each season… that’s actually what I am buying!
My best strategy is to shop for her at Gap Kids, H&M, and maybe Nordstrom. I put everything in my cart and then I wait a few days, make sure all of her laundry is done, and phase out anything that doesn’t fit or won’t carry into the next season. I also make a mental note of what colors she has a lot of (mostly neutrals, blush pink, grey, black, navy, mustard) so that anything new I buy will coordinate. I then revisit all three carts at once in different tabs and edit it down based on my “fresh” inventory and price. I.e. I typically have leggings/pants in several carts and then I prioritize which brand fits her better, is priced better, etc.
This keeps me on track with her “capsule” wardrobe and also makes it easy for anyone (C, me, family) to get her dressed as everything goes together and anything in her drawers fits. Hope this helps!
I have not shopped for myself all year. Not a single item and while I have realized I don’t need anything, I miss the thrill of a fabulous find and wandering the mall. Basically, I miss retail therapy. Do you feel the same?
First, you are AMAZING!!! Incredible. I hope you are celebrating such an amazing shift in behavior. Second, I have to say that I don’t. I think it totally depends on your personal reasons for shopping, but in my situation I think I was using it as a crux to deal with insecurity, anxiety and to compensate for a lack of personal style. I don’t think I would’ve figured that out if I hadn’t completely stopped shopping. Now that I have, shopping actually gives me anxiety… the idea of things not fitting, returns, me not liking something I thought I would love… I much prefer slowly identifying gaps in my wardrobe and then taking my time to source the very best item. I’d actually love to hear from you once you make your first purchase. I’m curious if you will feel that familiar retail “rush” again or, if you might feel a bit disappointed. You might be surprised!
What item/category was the hardest to not shop? Would you do it again in a few years, with one year under your belt?
Hmmm I wouldn’t say it was an item per say, more of an event. It was hard for me to not shop the ShopBop sales. I maintained a residual sense of panic that I was missing out on some epic deal on things that don’t usually go on sale. Funny enough you start to realize that there is ALWAYS a ShopBop sale around the corner :) Also, once you know what you love you really don’t mind spending another $20 to get the one you “really want” if it’s not on sale.
I will say that my biggest “crutch” was sunglasses and bags! I looove me a a good pair of sunnies. I went back and forth on things I purged from both categories but ultimately I don’t miss anything! I have one pair of sunnies, they are black and I might add a tortoise pair later but I’ve owned 23523 pairs and none were perfect so I’m not in a hurry. In terms of bags I netted out in a similar place in terms of number. I sold my worn Neverfull to buy a pre-owned Celine and I’m so happy with my decision. I also traded a friend a Celine clutch for her Gucci Disco and I’m really happy with that choice too. In summary I don’t miss anything I used to have and am glad to have ID’d these triggers.
How do you feel about clothing rental services such as nuuly to keep your wardrobe fun and fresh without having to buy it all?
I think it depends what your intention is. If it’s to be more green, I’d say we don’t yet have enough data yet to say one way or the other if it’s better or worse for the environment. In my case, my objective was to decrease consumption, but once I got to the root of the problem I realized that my true problem was using clothing + accessories to mask bigger issues like my self worth. In my circumstance, a rental service would have only replicated a bad habit of mine and most likely wouldn’t have driven a substantial shift in my behavior.
interested in how/why no shop translated into such a dramatic reduction in overall wardrobe. you posted the other day about starting with 100 pieces and ending up with 30. why is 30 better than 100 for you? what was the reason for getting rid of the other 70? does a small closet really feel less stressful? does it ever feel like "oh i just wore all of this last week"? do you feel like now that you only have 30 pieces, you'll want to replace things more regularly than when you had more options to rotate?
I’m so glad you asked this because I hadn’t even realized that reducing my wardrobe was one of my goals this year. I think that’s because it wasn’t really! My Facebook group is called Fewer, Better so obviously quality over quantity was top of mind, but I never set a “goal” for getting rid of things. I was reflecting on this this weekend and realized that was a common theme in many of the books I read in prep for this (most notebly this one, where the author gives away half of her belongings). I think it’s a natural outcome of this process but you realize you simply don’t need or want so much stuff. I really started gaining momentum around month 9 , both because I’d been through a few seasons at that point and also because we’d just filled a dumpster in our driveway (like totally filled) and to this day I couldn’t tell you what we threw in there. It really woke me up that the level of crap we stuff our homes and closets with is out of control.
Brands you’ve gravitated towards. I’ll often try to invest in something I love and then am super disappointed when it doesn’t seem to last longer than a season.
I shared a few above, but wanted to answer this to share that I think it’s more helpful to generate a set of criteria than it is to limit yourself to a set number of brands. I found that even some brands I love have collections that don’t work for me (i.e. how every shirt is currently less than a foot long...eyeroll) and it’s more the common threads between them that make their pieces my favorites.
For example, I know that I wear jeans everyday, but I still reach for the same few pairs. All of these pairs have a higher rise and aren’t too tight in the waist. Most can do double duty for work or casual wear, but I found I had over-invested in “distressed” denim that would only be worn on the weekends. Therefore, if I do determine I need a new pair, I remind myself to look for a high-rise, darker denim with a forgiving waist vs. a specific brand.
Even more so, I realized that my tops are the “stars” of my closet - a unique shirt makes me feel pulled together, especially considering I wear jeans most of the time. Therefore I am ok to invest in shirts I really love but they have to meet several criteria:
They must be able to be tucked in (this eliminates a lot of shirts from even my favorite brands like Doen and Ulla Johnson!)
I prefer natural fabrics like cotton or ramie as I run hot and synthetics (polyster, viscose, etc) don’t breath
I like tops with fuller arms or shoulders as they balance out my 5’9” size 10 frame
Neutrals are a + as they are nearly seasonless in a lot of fabrics when styled different ways
I prefer tops that have no buttons on the front or button all the way; popovers cut my torso in half
Being this picky has helped me curate a closet full of things I love and feel good in. It has also empowered me to shop second hand with confidence as I know what I like.
What guidance do you have/any tips for how to select items that can truly be multi-season wear? I understand that some items may only serve a particular season but I'd love to move towards a "seasonless' wardrobe where possible.
This is so critical in building a capsule wardrobe! I live in New England where we experience four full seasons and it was definitely tougher to work around than dressing for a single climate. I have found that selecting pieces in a specific colorway that you love helps quite a bit. For example, I looove white dresses and white tops. Some would say white cotton is for summer, but I love it just as much paired with chelsea boots and tights or with a thick sweater on top. I think we’ve come a long way from dressing a specific way for a season (I’ve worn white pants after Labor Day for as long as I can remember) and as long as you’re intentional in how you style things a of everyone’s wardrobe can be curated for many seasons.
That said, I did find it to be annoying that I couldn’t really edit down my jacket collection. I’ve never been a huge jacket person and they don’t traditionally bring me a lot of joy, but the realities of New England are that you need quite a few.
What do you wish you knew/tools in your arsenal prior to starting 2019? I started the year with you, then got pregnant which led to actual necessities but has definitely gotten out of control.
Congratulations!!! I’d say that’s a good reason to splurge here or there :)
I wish I knew that I’d need a full year to change my behavior. I can’t believe I thought I’d be able to do this after a single Konmari-inspired purge… this behavior is culturally ingrained in us from so early on. You HAVE to give yourself time, grace, and learn from your failures vs. attempt to not have any. You’d think I’d have learned that from my three failed Whole 30’s (aka Whole 4, Whole 25 and Whole 20 ;)), my annual failed Sober January, and 23523 other failed restrive programs but this is the one that finally broke through for me. Even if you mess up, just keep going. For the year. There is no downside.
How do you dress for special events? Charity events, weddings, themed parties?
I’ve tried renting before and haven’t been super happy with it, so this year I ended up just wearing whatever I already owned. Weddings encourage such silly overconsumption IMO - even as guests we feel like we can’t wear the same dress we’ve been photographed in before, but no one is looking at anyone at a wedding except the bride! At this point I have a long black silk dress that I always feel good in and a Gucci disco bag that easily goes from “wedding guest” to “grocery store” as well as two pairs of versatile shoes. All three are great quality and look polished but aren’t so stand-out that anyone would realize it’s all I wear. Even if they did, it’s one night. I will need to get creative in 2020 and probably purchase one shorter dress that isn’t white but otherwise I’ll wear the black one.
Was it hard to get your husband on board/or is he on board and has he minimized his wardrobe as well? My husband and I share a closet (it’s an entire room though) and his stuff is fully taking over. 😅🙄 I also feel like 90% of our laundry every week is his stuff.
Yep yep yep yep this was so hard. C has always been a maximalist and likes clothes. He also prefers to hold on to things (he’s very sentimental) and isn’t averse to clutter (I can’t stand it, noshop or not). He was not into #noshop19 at first and we fought about his shopping a LOT, especially as it got later in the year. It has been really difficult for me to separate his behavior from mine, especially as I started to make significant behavioral changes. I’d be schlepping 30 Poshmark orders to the post office and he’d be receiving boxes from JCrew the same day. I even Konmari’d his closet for him (twice) only to see it a messy disaster a week later. I think I resented him becuase I’d see the financial progress my changes were making and felt like I was the only one that cared. Once you are married or a long term relationship it’s hard for one person to make a huge change without impacting or involving their partner. I almost equate it to one person losing a bunch of weight while their partner eats their favorite snacks in front of them.
That said, I’m glad I did it on my own. This isn’t a change someone else can make for you. I needed to do this for myself.
That said, slowly but surely, C started to explore his own interests buying better quality but less volume. By the fall, he’d taken on a similar approach and weeded out enough of his stuff that we could get rid of an entire dresser.
This process also forced us to talk about a lotttt of demons. Money. Stuff, family, self-confidence...a lot of baggage made its way to the table. I can honestly say we’re at the best place we’ve even been in regarding all of the above. We’re heading in to 2020 in a great position to continue paying off debt faster than ever before while being on the same page about money.
I’d love to know about how you incorporated dressing for work. I know you have a relaxed workplace dress code but was there an element of maintaining a “professional” part of your wardrobe for meetings/events/ outside meetings
Yes definitely. While our office is casual, I still like to feel like I’m dressed for the office (some days more than others ;)) and look pulled together. I’ve found that investing in more bespoke tops goes the furthest for me as they are easy to dress down with distressed jeans or to dress up for work. I also swap sneaks from my day-to-day to polished flats or boots for more formal occasions. Lastly, I’ve work in ad agencies or within a marketing team for my whole career and I have learned that many times, a good pair of dark denim and a blazer often look more polished than what a lot offices consider business casual (black pants and a shirt, etc). Obviously this wouldn’t work in more corporate settings but in general I see the business environment transitioning to a more casual style in general.
What are your plans moving forward into 2020? To follow the same rules? Be less strict?
Similar rules! I started a list with Stephanie of a few things I need (winter jacket, good black blouse, leather jacket) and plan to peruse sales etc. over the next year. I do not plan to set any rules or anything (and I have even less desire to continue to invite feedback into my life about it ha), this is simply the way I prefer to “shop” now. I can’t believe I used to go to the mall with no agenda and just wander around buying things. For fun. I can still feel the tightness in my chest that I’d feel when I got home and would around at the sea of bags, not fully remembering what was in each. I don’t have any desire to do that anymore.
I would love to know how you decided what pieces you needed in order to simplify your wardrobe but still have appropriate options for work/other life events. I am working really hard to tone down my closet, but after taking out the clothes I simply don’t like or that don’t fit well, I don’t know where to start to take it a step further. (Hopefully this makes sense)
Makes perfect sense! This is where I landed in month 10. Hiring Stephanie was key for me. She’s a professional stylist and could quickly put together a styled rack of the items I owned that were the best quality, most versatile, and timeless. She then took notes on what gaps she saw and set me a few suggestions and guidance for those items. She does e-styling. I don’t think I’d feel as good as I do now if I hadn’t had this session.
That said, I’d start with the very basics, remove everything else from your closet, and see how far it gets you: jeans, a non-jean pant, your favorite work shirts (two or three), a few sweaters, white tees, a blazer, a cardigan, a formal dress or two, a pair of flats, a bootie and a good bag. This is basically my wardrobe in a nutshell and I’m still in awe at how far it goes!
I’d be interested in you touching on being gifted items, do you still get rid of items for them? Do you think the challenge would feel differently if you weren’t gifted any items? How do you decide what to accept?
I answered the difficulty piece earlier but to reiterate, I think it would’ve been easier. I’ve become pretty surgical about what I’ll allow into my precious closet and I felt guilt if I accepted anything that I wouldn’t keep forever. I said no to a LOT of gifting and several paid campaigns but it didn’t bother me...I do not have the pressure of blogging as a full-time job so it wasn’t worth the tradeoffs.
Most things I said yes to (like my jacket from J.McLaughlin and my jeans from the JCPenney shoot) are things I would have bought and are now part of my regular wardrobe, but some campaigns had requirements around a number of items, specific categories, etc. In those circumstances I offered to send items back after I shot them. Every brand declined actually, so in that case I did give those items away. I do not believe in selling gifted product, only product I purchased myself was sold on Poshmark.
How did you decide what was worth splurging on? What was the tipping point that made it worth the additional cost?
This has definitely been a learning process but it’s a mix of most-worn, most-versatile, and “most fails” when I went cheap. For me it’s been mostly on tops/blouses. I wear jeans and a top every day including to work and need to look polished and put together. With a few exceptions (I’ve had good luck with Zara, who like many big brands, is reshaping their approach to sustainability), most cheap top options are made of synthetics, wash poorly, don’t keep their shape, and fit oddly.
I spent a decent amount of money on pajama’s but I only have three pairs (all Lake Pajamas) and these can handle frequent washing. Saves me a ton of drawer space vs. the mountain of old college t’s and shorts.
Shoes are also worth the money to me but probably because I’m not a huge shoe person and don’t mind wearing mostly the same pairs all the time.
At the end of the year, did it feel “worth it?”
Yes. It was a transformative year for me that improved my quality of life by over 100%.
On Friday I will share a product post of similar selects to what’s left in my wardrobe. Next month l will share how I plan to take on 2020 (hint: I’ve already started!).. Please feel free to email me anything else you’d like me to include in either post!
